Fake Deadlines + August Life

Late career bloomers, Infidelity, Saving soggy shoes, Cool season garden picks, and more!

This week’s newsletter is a super-sized Freak My Week that includes how to save soggy shoes, finding your career groove later in life, my cool season garden picks, a bunch of things I want to watch, and a new memoir about infidelity.

If you’re a freebie subscriber, I’m hoping to get you a new cookbook recipe headed your way next month (just need to get some new cookbooks). As always, if you are unable to afford a paid subscription right now, please message me and I’ll take care of you.

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A few nights ago, I was reading one of Piet Oudolf’s books* and was in awe looking at his drawing plans, extensive knowledge of perennials, and vast body of work. And then a wave of dread / anxiety came over me – it’s going to take me years and years and years to understand plants and design the way he does. He has put in the time to learn this craft, and I am, in some ways, just getting started.

You should know that Piet is 79 years old, so has quite literally put in the time. He is also one of the most accomplished designers of this century…so this was an extreme example to choose to compare myself to, but I wasn’t able to stop.

To be clear, this isn’t the typical “comparison game” we often talk about when it comes to social media. This isn’t comparing myself to someone on Instagram who has a kitchen designed in this decade with commercial-grade appliances and The Row wardrobe I covet. Those things can be bought. The cost of the knowledge and experience I want so badly, is time.

When I’m finished with school, I’m pretty clear on what I want to do. I have all these new goals and milestones swirling in my head - what I’ll accomplish at one year, five years, ten. And the time it will take to get there. A friend once told me years ago that the time tables I create for myself are my own. They are essentially fake deadlines I give myself. He questioned if they were healthy. I’m unsure. I just know they have helped me achieve a lot, and I don’t know how to stop making them.

Unfortunately, when you decide to learn a new craft and go back to school to start a new career, time tables are mostly out of your control. You can’t push a fast-forward button to speed up experience, semesters, or how much information your brain can learn at one time. I’ve had to learn to sit back and be patient. Patient-ish. I am still trying to speed up how much information my brain can learn. Every week or so, I go to the park and quiz myself. I walk through and identify the plantings as I go. Anything I don’t know, I pull out my plant ID app for help. Something Piet didn’t have when he was learning, for better or worse.

While I’m getting closer to completing school, it’s also making me stop to remember that I will never get this time back. Of having to the luxury to learn. To have a beginner’s brain – discovering information for the first time and dreaming about possibilities that aren’t plagued by burnout or monotony. It’s a pretty exciting time and I’m trying harder for fake deadlines not to get in the way of that.

Alright, lots of goodies below.
I’ll talk to you next month!

Love,
Jessica

No pressure to comment, but I’ve decided to enable comments on these newsletters now. Amazon reviews and Instagram made me scared of comments…but I’m pretty confident this is a space where more healthy conversations will happen. And I’d really love hear about your thoughts on topics like these - and things you’re currently into.

*Piet Oudolf At Work

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This Month: A new read, a lemon sculpture from my baby, a rebrand moment at the grocery store, and a favorite place in Garda (La Loda).

The Things That Freaked My Week

Some things I’m currently into…

Everyone Who Made This Happen: Meet the Many People It Takes to Produce One Thing via T Magazine
In the age of YouTube – where my son just watched a man create a portrait of himself with Rubiks cube blocks “alone” in a time lapse of 1 minute – this piece is a beautiful reminder how much time / collaboration things take to make.

Some examples:
The Bottega Veneta Clam Bag
Number of people involved: Over 30.
Time from conception to completion: About a year.

The Puppets for ‘Spirited Away’
Number of people involved: Around 70, including 30 performers.
Time from conception to opening night: Four years and three months.

We Are Too Many by Hannah Prittard
Just picked up this memoir. It’s about the author’s husband having an affair with her best friend - told through conversations she remembers and ones she’s made up. The writing structure is something I’ve never seen before and an interesting read.

What To Do With Soggy Shoes
Last week, my son and I were walking and got caught in a giant rainstorm (which usually means flooding in Charleston which also means completely soaked shoes). I thought his new tennis shoes were done for, but found a way to save them and feel so proud/shocked it worked…I wanted to share!